Straight in the Eye
by skylark.all27
Summary: "Then, you're just a coward, Signore Vongola," the man continued, amusement dancing behind his eyes. Decimo responded, "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not, but if I was that Dame-Tsuna you were saying, then probably I'd be dead by now. You know from where? From grieve. Because if this Vongola Decimo you were facing wasn't here, then that man wouldn't have died before my eyes." Revised.


**Summary: **"Then, you're just a coward, Signore Vongola," the man continued, amusement dancing behind his eyes. Vongola Decimo smiled as he said, loud enough for them to hear, "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not, but if I was that Dame-Tsuna you were saying, then probably I'd be dead by now. You know from where? From grieve. Because if this Vongola Decimo you're seeing isn't here, then that man wouldn't have died before my eyes."  
**Warning(s): **Shitty Grammar, OOC, mild language, TYL!Verse  
**A/N:** Some of the scenes may be a little familiar, which it should be because I patterned it the same as that story I cried when reading, The Final Stand by Autore Raita.

Mistakes are my fault.

**Straight in the Eye**

Vongola Decimo sat across the table with his guardians behind him. Their presences were required for this meeting. He calmly seated, not minding whether his guardians were ignoring him or not. He was used to it by now, or at least that's what he's been saying to himself this whole time. He was supposed to, if not, this Famiglia would have been long gone. He needed to fulfill his job correctly, _accurately_, because if he didn't, this Famiglia would burn into ashes.

So, as Reborn quoted, "You have to suck it up, Dame-Tsuna, or your family will suffer." And he totally sucked it up, for the past _six _months. He was sucking it all up. Those glares, terrified screams, accusations, he was sucking it all up because who was _he_ again in this Famiglia?

_The sky._

As he sat calmly, listening to the meeting as it goes on. He idly wondered how this had come to this. He remembered recently where he and his guardians would laugh, for his Cloud guardian – chuckle, during Christmas and New Year. It was pleasant, he thought, to be able to see them with those happiness in their eyes. But looking at them now, he was starting to doubt his own. Did he do the right thing? He shook his head a little as he felt a single tear dropped from the corner of his eye. He wasn't going to be weak now. Not when people were observing his every move.

His head slightly shot up as he was called across the room. There, on the opposite side of the table was the boss of the third strongest Famiglia on the Underworld, Nuova Luce. Mirth was clearly written between those twitches on his lips as Vongola Decimo calmly seated to his seat. Not minding anything at all, even if he was being mocked _again_.

"My, my if it isn't the Vongola," he started. Vongola Decimo remained impassive, looking straight in the eye as his composure never wavered. His guardians didn't bother looking at him for uncertainties. They just stood there minding their own business. If it wasn't for any cases, Tsuna would have laughed. Looking straight ahead, he urged the boss of Nuova to continue. And the boss complied.

"You wanna know what I gathered?" he taunted, not minding the other bosses of Mafia that was trying to stop him from talking any further. Anyone with sane mind would never dare to cross paths with the Vongola if not necessary. After all, Vongola was not known for being the strongest Famiglia for nothing.

"During middle school, ah, I kind of stumbled upon this information… Ah, what was it again, _Dame_-Tsuna?" he continued, mirth dancing through his eyes. Tsuna smiled knowingly as he sat there calmly, leaning against the chair that was located opposite the man who was trying, _again_, to humiliate him.

.

"_You can't do it, can you Signore Vongola?" the man taunted, holding the knife he offered as he wiggled it before the man across the room. He smirked evilly when the man he was taunting gritted his teeth before him. Ah, such a pleasant sight, he thought. This was the first time he'd seen the man in front of him this angered. Maybe he was pushing too far? Nah, this wouldn't be exciting if he wasn't._

"_What do you intend to do, Signore?" the man in front of him questioned through his grinding teeth. The man holding the knife laughed merrily, enjoying the sight that no mafiosos had ever seen. They had been trying to taint the man, to crush his hopes that no one, not even the strongest Mafioso underground would be able to change the laws of Mafia. That even this man who was known as the strongest boss in the Underworld would never be able to change the ways of how the underground goes. It was unlikely, and he would prove it._

"_Ah, you know. This knife… I wonder what will happen if you place it before my heart?" he offered, sinister smile appearing on his lips. _

.

Vongola Decimo listened attentively to the accusations this man was giving him. This man had been after his throat, trying to humiliate him in front of all bosses together with that _man _since the day he stepped on the throne. This man seemed to have a grudge against his guts. Ah, it's been ten years since he stepped on the throne. At the age of 24, he was still known as the strongest of strongest. He wasn't denying, nor boasting, but to them it seemed like he was a tainted saint.

Sitting calmly at his seat, he listened to the boisterous laughter of the said man. He was neither affected nor taunted. He was just there, listening to the man who was once in good terms with the Vongola, Vongola Nono to be exact.

.

"_W-what?" For once, he tried to recollect the teachings he learned from his ex-tutor. He was losing it, he knew. But he couldn't let this go on. He couldn't let his __**guardians **__be__in danger. If it wasn't for him, they wouldn't be in that situation. If it wasn't for him, this wouldn't have happened._

"_You heard me, Signore Vongola. I want __**you**__ to dig this __**knife **__on __**my chest**__," the man laughed, taunting him even more as the man wiggled the knife in front of him. He couldn't do it. It was against his law. It was against his principles. It was against his purposes. _It was against his _human _instinct.

"_You can't do it, can you Signore Vongola?" the man asked, still with that smirk so confident that he wouldn't do it. Vongola Decimo tried to recollect his calm. He wouldn't lash out. Not until his guardians were out. Not until he was sure his guardians were fine. Not until his guardians were in the Vongola mansion. Safe, secured, and _cleaned_._

.

"What, can't say anything huh, _Signore Vongola_?" the man spat dangerously, losing his calm that he was reserving just a while ago. Vongola Decimo smiled knowingly not even the least intimidated by the level of flames this person was emitting. He looked calmly behind him. Nothing seemed to be change by his guardians' behavior. They just stood there, letting this man insult their boss. Ah, what a pleasant sight indeed.

"What do you want me to say then, _Signore Nuova_?" he questioned flatly. The man snarled, not caring if his subordinates were trying to stop him. Seriously, who was supposed to be livid on this verbal fight again? Ah, he knew, it _was _supposed to be _him _who was sulking. Since that was Signore Nuova's purpose on interrupting the once peaceful meeting after all.

"Don't test my patience, _Signore_," the man spat.

"I was merely asking a question, Signore Nuova. Why are you now implying that I am the _bad guy_ here, of all people?" Vongola Decimo taunted, his smirk growing wider as the man snarled before him. Ah, such an easy prey, he thought amusedly. His guardians stood behind, glaring furiously at his back because they _knew _(or at least that was what they _believed_) that he was _damn proud_ of killing that man.

.

"_Don't test my patience, Signore," he warned, stepping forward to the man holding that knife. The man's laughed echoed around the room. He couldn't get out and warned his people because this damn room was covered with an anti-dying will flame. It has a machine that any flames couldn't get through. Damn it all._

"_I wasn't, I'm just testing you out. You can't, can you Signore? Since you're this stupid man who believes, who hopes, whose principles are beyond the capability of a young man surrounded by mafiosos who kills on impulse. You're brave, strongest even, but that naiveté of yours? It wouldn't get you anywhere,_ Signore Vongola_," the man dug more of the tip of that knife. _

_The Decimo hitched, realizing that he was having the same feeling back when he was in middle school again, when his tutor wasn't there yet. It was that feeling._

_Feeling of _knowing _what to do yet could not._

**Would not**.

.

"Hahahahaha! Why am I getting work up on this again? Tell me, Signore Vongola, why was it that you insist on _not_ killing on either of your guardians' missions, yet your hands were already painted with red?" the man smirked. He hit the bull's eyes. Decimo remained unfazed, not even when he felt that his guardians' glares were intense that he could feel his dress shirt being torn apart with how much high it was.

"Pfft, hahahaha!" his laughter echoed around the room, same as that time when the man forgot to breathe. He let out a snort before setting himself comfortable to his chair again, placing his right leg above his left, looking all majesty as he spoke calmly.

"**These hands, you say?**" he asked dangerously, his voice sounding a little too much of a similar when he was talking with the bosses of the Mafia, and his eyes glinting a little as he glared with his usually cheerful and bright innocence screaming behind his brown eyes. "Yes, they're tainted. Always will and always will be," he continued. Looking straight to the man, who he thought distastefully was enjoying this argument _a little too much_.

"And what do you have to say that, Signore Vongola? Or should I call you, _Dame_-Tsuna?" Vongola guardians didn't seem the least annoyed that this man was insulting their _sky_, their _boss_, and their _friend._

"Dame-Tsuna? Wow, I haven't heard that name since _yesterday_. Pray tell Signore, why call me as pathetic as that?" he asked, his dying will flame trying to ignite, but he wouldn't lose his patience. Not when his guardians were here. Not when they would know that he himself was the reason he had killed. That he himself was the reason why he had tainted himself. That he was, and always had been the epitome of problems in this _fucking _twisted world. No. He wouldn't.

"Ah, didn't I offer you something earlier? What was it again? Ah yes, yes of course. The information I gathered during your middle school," the man waved the files he was holding before slamming it down to the table. All pictures of the young Decimo appeared.

He, from the classroom, answering an elementary problem yet couldn't answer. He, standing against the back alley, exposed skin were all bruised. From his daily customers – the customers that seemed so entranced _every single day _to his packed lunches. And last one, when he was at the roof top, dazed eyes, and only one step, and he wouldn't have been here. Sitting calmly and sipping the tea the maid always made when there was a meeting.

"Ah, these were nice shots, you think so right, _Signore Vongola?_" the man commented. Vongola Decimo's chair creaked couple of sounds getting all the attentions from all the people inside the room. He turned his back, bangs covering his eyes, and as the people expected him to _wail_, he laughed loudly. His laugh sounding far too amused for the man's liking, but Vongola Decimo didn't care.

His eyes forming droplets of tears as he made his way to the door. He stopped midway, standing between his guardians who were trying not to look too _curious _as to what he was going to say. Or what he was going to do to deny all the accusations, to deny all the no-good traits. _Fuck _that. He wasn't that _low_.

"**Signore**," his voice rang out through the room, all flinched even his guardians when they heard the venom inside that soft that was hardened similar to boulders. He laughed loudly, bangs covering his eyes as he stared at the door knob, burning it with his eyes that were dropping unconscious, dirty tears.

"I once wish I could be that man again, you know. To be that Dame-Tsuna you were talking about. To be that person who failed at everything, who did nothing to rise up from the ground, to be that person who could cry anytime without disgracing the name of something, someone, to be that person who did _not _care about anyone except his mother, and his _nonexistent _father," he continued, loud enough for everyone in this room to hear.

"I wish I could be him, you know. Someday, sometime, I wish I could be Dame-Tsuna and die as him," he stated, raising his head up, his eyes looking to the ceiling as his dry tears trying to drop to the marble floor. He started to open the door knob. He halted when he heard a mocking laugh.

"Then you're just nothing but a coward, _Signore Vongola_," the man responded, not seemingly caring that the atmosphere dropped below zero as his trained eyes tried to find at least a sign of hatred, but he couldn't even find anything from the Vongola Decimo.

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not," he started as he stared into the ceiling before closing his eyes again. "But if I was that Dame-Tsuna you were talking about, I'd probably be dead by now. I know because it once had been me. Yes, I wasn't denying anything. I didn't. I did _not _even deny a single word you said. But you want me to share to you as to why I think that if I was that kid, I'd be dead?" he asked, turning his heel, walking calmly to the table, as he faced the crowd that were waiting for his answers. He couldn't care less about how his guardians felt anymore, nor how his subordinates felt. Yes, _subordinates_. But he had enough.

They already reached the limit of the _once_ unlimited sky.

"I'd be dead from _grieved, _suffocated from not having enough air to breathe, crying nonstop because of nightmares because since that man forgot to breathe, I forgot who I am, and I forgot who I was fighting for. And I asked myself, why did I become the person I never wanted to be? A murderer," he gritted his teeth, eyes tinting orange as he glared at all the people inside this room.

"I thought myself of too much of a saint, a tainted saint they said. I worked my ass off every single _fucking _time to fulfill the needs of being the boss of the strongest Mafia Famiglia. I accepted it a long time ago, that no matter how much I tried I will become the Mafioso that I never dreamt I would be. I worked with everything I had to _protect,_ for my people, my friends not to be people I despised. **Murderers**," he breathed not looking at any of his guardians, and people inside the room.

"That day that _damn _Tenebroso cornered me inside that room, I knew I was in trouble. Or for that event, my guardians were," he looked at his guardians and saw their eyes widened in shock, he shook his head. Looking at the ceiling once more, he said with a pain voice that held so much regret, "That damn Tenebroso waved that detonation bomb in front of my face saying that if I wouldn't kill him with that knife of his, he would blow up the ball my guardians were attending," he stood properly, more firm.

"I _knew _what to do and I did it without so much in mind. I would _gladly _do it if it means my guardians, my friends, my family will be _safe, untainted, clean_, and I thought it would be fine since my guardians _knew _that the _real me_ would never even kill a fly if not necessary," he stood calmly in front of the door, standing in between his guardians who were looking at him with nothing but regret.

"Turns out, I was _wrong_," he gritted his teeth, walking to the door once more, glaring daggers to the door knob of the door as he said, "they thought of me as a _shameless bastard _who was pretending to care, but in the inside was not. It pained me, for six _fucking _months I endured those glares, words that pierced through my heart, terrified screams because I was labeled as a _murderer _with my own Family, I endured all those because there were still people who accepted me, who never dared to doubt my principles," he smiled.

He remembered the determined looks he got from Kyoko, Haru, and I-Pin. He repeated to crowd what they said to him during that time to the entire people in this room.

"They ganged up on me you know. Screaming profanities to the guardians I vowed myself to protect, Haru even told me, 'Tsuna-san isn't someone who kill on impulse, Tsuna-san has a heart that always welcomed anyone, if Tsuna-san's guardians are not there to protect him,' Kyoko, Haru, and I-Pin said in unison that even I myself was surprised, **'then we will take Tsuna-san away from here.'** For the first time in months, I laughed," he smiled to the nostalgic memory.

"But you know. I didn't come with them. I stayed, ignoring the glares I got, the terrified screams, the cold looks I got from the person who was the reason I despised the Mafia," when Mukuro heard this, he knew he was the one his _sky_ was talking about. "I ignored all those because I have a responsibility to take, a place that needed my presence for me to run, and today. I finally snapped,"

He wouldn't care anymore. Not anymore.

As he looked at the door knob with a wistful smile, he removed his ring. The Vongola ring he inherited from his ancestor. The ring that symbolized that he understood the meaning, the purpose of the Clam. That he, Sawada Tsunayoshi, had once been the sky, the boss, the Tenth, and the friend. He _once_, but never would be.

.

"_I'm different. If you think I wouldn't kill you just because you thought I was a naïve little kid, a tainted saint. Well you thought wrong, Signore Tenebroso. I would do anything, _anything _for my guardians, for my friends because they _are my family_. The people I came back for. So if you thought killing was not in my vocabulary. Well you thought wrong, Signore," he whispered as the knife dug deeper into the boss of Tenebroso Family's heart. The detonation bomb dropped to the floor._

"_For my family, _I would do anything_," he whispered one last time as he saw the man's eyes dilated before losing its life. His breathing stopped._

_And that's when Vongola Decimo _cried_._

.

"I'm done. I don't need to explain anything anymore. But never even try to do this again, Signore Nuova. Never ever gamble your lives just for the sake of amusement. Not when your bet is on the wrong side of the coin. I would do anything for this Famiglia, for _my friends_, I would do anything, _even killing_ because I _was once _their sky, _once _their boss. And I _was once _their friend," he tossed the ring to the table, his eyes never leaving the door. As he heard the clanking sounds of the ring, he finally turned the door knob.

"Jyuudaime…"

"Tsuna…"

"Tsuna-nii…"

"Bossu…"

"Sawada…"

"Dame-Tsuna," a squeaky voice was heard. Tsuna spun around looking directly to the source of that voice. He smiled knowingly, for the last time he would smile. He nodded to his ex-tutor, now ex-advisor, and he got a nod back. He was a little surprised when his tutor jumped on his shoulder, tapping his cheek a little before landing on the table again.

He nodded to his ex-advisor, looked at the man who had begun all of this commotion and was now a stuttering mess, and his eyes landed on his guardians. The guardians flinched. Gokudera and Yamamoto were looking at him longingly with regrets, trying to reach their hands out to him. Lambo and Chrome were sobbing, Chrome clutching her hands to Lambo's dress shirt. Ryohei was awfully quiet. Mukuro and Hibari remained impassive, but if a trained eyes looked, they would have seen the sadden eyes that the known strongest guardians were having.

He smiled, a resigned smile, a smile that said everything. The sobbing turned into wailing as he turned his heel again and finally, opened the door. He stepped forward, leading his exit to the room, and he spun around. He bowed, completely ninety degrees, his eyes on the ground, and after his bow, he nodded to all the bosses. He smiled – a smile that only appeared on his lips every time he clashed teeth and words to all the bosses.

He spun his heels before the door closed. And he silently whispered that only his guardians and Reborn were able to hear every single word.

"See you in after life, _mia famiglia_."

.

**Buonanotte**


End file.
